In search of better me
by Yenerys
Summary: Second chance for Daenerys Targaryen. Can she overcome her anger and madness and become better person? This fic is just me wishing a better fate for her.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones.

Dany flinched. She couldnt believe that the man she loved so deeply had stabbed her. The pain was so sharp but it was nothing against the wave of betrayal and hurt that shattered her heart into pieces. And then everything faded into darkness.

Drogon roared, filled with sadness and anger over death of his mother and rider. He aimed his anger and flame towards that damned iron chair that made his mother sacrifice everything. That caused the death of his brother, Rhaegal. With pleasure he watched that tiny human was covering in fear. He could burn him to dust. But there were more important things to do.

Gently grabbing fallen body of his mother he jumped in the air and flew away from the city of ashes. He was following his instinct, leading him to Volantis.

"Daenerys." Somebody called her name, but she was lost in the darkness and couldnt find her way towards the voice.

"Don´t worry, little sister. It will be alright." Suddenly the darkness disappeared and she was in a room, that looked similiar like one of these at Dragonstone. The man speaking her name was tall, with silver hair and purple eyes. At first she thought it was Viserys, but something in his eyes didnt feel right. It was the sadness and melancholy, similiar to Jon´s. That thought filled her with anger and pain.

Jon. The one who betryed her.

"Dany." The man said, drawing her attention back to him.

"You must be Rhaegar. My brother. The one i never knew. It means i am dead. Betryaed by the man i loved. I only tried to make world a better place. And all i got was knife into my heart," she laughed bitterly.

"Daenerys. We need to talk." His eyes were aimed at her and she noticed traces of tears shining on his face.

"Is it that bad? Why are you crying? When Viserys talked about you he pictured you as a hero. Fearless man."

"Viserys was fool in many ways,Dany. I am crying for things that could be, but were burned into ashes."

With these words he gently touched her cheek.

Daenerys scowled, but she also felt ashamed. After all, Rhaegar was an ideal for her in many ways.

"I did nothing wrong. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms. I was born to free the world from tyrants. And all i got is hatred, coldness and betrayal."

"Do you still believe that? Do you truly believe that rule is somebody´s right?" Rhaegar sighed with sad and disappointed face.

"Ruling is a duty, Dany. And even lives of common people are important. You used to know that, when you freed the slaves. I only wonder, where the gentle girl has gone. The girl, whose only wish used to be a safe place, where she could were different from our father,Dany. Aerys burned people for his own pleasure. He considered himself above everyone and everything. But some of your actions had a bit of unnecessary cruelty,too. Crucified Masters, for example. "

"They deserved it" she snapped.

"They deserved justice. Execute the guilty, yes. But have you ever considered how many of those 163 were truly guilty?"

She remained silent. Rhaegar sighed.

"If i thought there was no hope for you, i wouldnt have come to talk to you. What you did to King´s Landing was terrible. Burning innocent like this... i can understand your pain over losing your friend and dragon, but this was too harsh. If you had burned the Red Keep with Cercei, so be it, but common people? Do you want to know the reason they didnt rebel against Cersei? Unlike slaves, they have a lot to lose. They have family to think of. And Cersei was smart telling them you came here murder their families. That Dothraki in your army will rape their women and naturally, they put their faith in Cersei instead of you."

Dany was shaken and hurt. She felt anger, too. But mostly she was ashamed. The man she never knew, yet adored as a great hero now scolded her like a little girl.

"Not many people are evil as our father was. And i still believe there is some good left in you. You made many mistakes. Some of them were terrible. But knowing your past mistakes, knowing your greatest faults and weaknesses, would you be a better person? Maybe one day you will understand how irrelevant power truly is."

"It doesn´t really matter. I was murdered. I am dead." Dany sighed.

Rhaegar placed a kiss on her forehead. "Perhaps. Or perhaps not."

Following his instincts, Drogon finally arrived into Volantis. Immediately drawn to the Red Temple, he gently laid the body of his mother on the steps. Ignoring screams of irrelevant and ridiculous humans he watched woman,covered in red, coming for the body of his mother. She and some other humans in red took the body inside the temple.

Kinvara was facing one of the hardest decisions of her life. Of course she knew, what Daenerys Targaryen had done in her madness. So the most reasonable choice would be simply burning the corpse. But in her flames she saw another war. Slave Masters strengthened with the fact that Mother of Dragons was dead, would start another rebellion. Another conflict meant many more dead people. Maybe trying to resurrect Daenerys Stormborn is not that bad idea. But the problem of Daenerys´s madness remained.

Poor girl. Sold by her her child and first husband. All her life filled with only one vision. Iron Throne. Perhaps death has changed her.

Making her decision, Kinvara prayed to her Lord, asking him to bring back Daenerys Targaryen. For a while nothing happened. But after couple of minutes, Mother of Dragons opened her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Game of thrones

She desperately gasped, and her fingers traveled to the place right above her heart. Where Jon had stabbed her. It hurted not only physically, but mentally too.

_I am a mess_, she thought. All she wanted was to curl up and ignore whole world. She wasnt sure if returning back to life was any blessing at all. Madness, betrayal and lies were everywhere.

Perhaps it is best that i am unable to conceive. Perhaps my bloodline of my House is cursed, and they would have turned mad aswell.

Daenerys heard gentle she got up and turned around, she noticed a Red priestess watching her carefully.

"Who are you? Are you the one who brought me back to life?"

"My name is Kinvara. And the one who brought you back to life was our Lord of Light, i am merely his servant who acts in his name."

" Your name sounds familiar. Aren´t you the one who helped Tyrion and Varys to keep order in Meereen?"

"Atleast we tried. Red priests have a lot of respect in Slaver´s Bay, but even that was not enought from slavers to try to overthrow your reign" said Kinvara

"And new war isnt far from breaking out. Your dragon was seen...and heard. His roars resembled crying. Soon rumors, that Daenerys Targaryen died will spread like a fire. And trust me, there is still enough of slavers capable of starting a war for restoration of the slavery. But you could stop it."

"I still have Drogon, but my army is still in Westeros."

" They will return. Grey Worm would not want to stay there. Or perhaps, you can return to Westeros."

"And let them murder me for a second time? I thought i would find there something i never had, a home. But in the end, i have nothing." Dany retorted.

" That is not true. Meereen needs you. Former slaves love if you changed some of your methods, you could be good rules."

"Qarth. It started there, i think. Especially after what happened in House of the Undying."

"Dont tell me you actually went there. Or that you drank that foul Shade of the evening." said Kinvara while her facial expression turned to worry.

"I did. Whole cup." Dany didnt understand why priestess was so worried.

Kinvara scowled."Wait here. I will be back in couple of minutes."

With that, she left. Dany was confused. What was that about? Atleast she had an opportunity to look around properly. Whole room was decorated with lit candles. Floor was covered with soft, red carpet. Whole room had no windows.

After a while, Kinvara returned. She was holding a vial with a darm red liquid.

" Now, allow me to explain. Shade of the evening is a foul thing. Yes, it allows you to enter House of the Undying but it twists your mind. It strengthens your deepest and darkest desires. For you, it was the Iron Throne and to be recognized as some kind of hero, or saviour. Even one cup is enough to poison yourself. In some of our ancient books are stories of men, who drank too much and they were turned into twisted beings. You obviusly met the Undying, so you must know, what i mean." Kinvara gave her a pointed look.

Dany remembered. "It was as if they were corrupted by some kind of evil power."

"Corrupted, yes. That drink turned them into monsters. But fortunately, you drank only one cup. The damage is reversible. You will drink this vial, but not here."

With that, Kinvara led Dany into much smaller room, without a carpet.

"Now you can drink this."

Dany hesitantly took the vial, then she swallowed its content in a gulp. For a while nothing happened. But then she began to feel quite felt as if fire was burning through her fell to her knees and vomited strange, black liquid. She began to tremble and then she lost her consciousness.

Dany woke up and she felt so weak and tired. But at the same time she felt very strong relief, as if she had forced upon her huge weight which now disappeared. She lookend around the room she was in. This room had one window, many candles and again red carpet, but was much smaller than that room, where she was brought back to life. It was more likely this was some kind of living room. The bed was comfortable though.

"Are you alright?" Kinvara entered room.

"I feel weak and tired and hungry. At the same time, i feel much better." admitted Dany.

"Good. You slept through the night, but the effects of that shade of the evening should be completely gone by now. Servant will bring you some food soon. After your meal, we will talk again." Kinvara promised and left.

After Dany finished eating, Kinvara returned.

"Any news about Meereen?"

"Daario was not exactly good choice for keeping order and peace in Meereen. He doesnt care about people or justice. People are starving. Ill people are dying without any help. I was looking into flames... and i believe Daario will soon abandon Meereen with his Second sons. He never had any interest in ruling a city. But, i also have some news from Westeros. Your Unsullied enforced trial against Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister for betraying you."

Dany felt tears entering her eyes. Jon... she loved him. He was so good, modest and he cared about people. And he stabbed her. Murdered her. In hindsight she saw many of her decisions, that she used to consider as right, to be wrong instead. Rushing to King´s Landing. Forgetting about Iron fleet. Burning innocent people while riding Drogon. Saying those things to Jon.

I_ might have been upset about losing Jorah and Missandei, but those are not excuses._

"I wish i could tell him how much i regret making one wrong decision after another. On the other side... i am not sure if i want to ever see him again." Dany admitted.

"There is still timefor you to decide. Enough for you to restore atleast a bit of an order in Meereen. The trial won´t be anytime soon. First, all of the important lordss or ladies from Westeros will gather in King´s Landing."

"Yes, for now Meereen will be my priority. It is about time people could live there peacefully."

With her decision made, Kinvara led Daenerys out of the temple.

A great roar resonated through the air. Dany spotted Drogon, flying towards the temple. She would swear his roar was filled with joy. When he landed, she ran towards her. He growled at her, which in her opinion meant something like "Do not dare to die on me again".

"Thank you, Drogon. Thank you for taking me here. Thank you for staying with me."

With that she mounted her dragon and prepared to leave. Kinvara had some last words for her.

"Safe travels, Daenerys Stormborn. And good luck."

And then she and Drogon were flying towards Meereen. Perhaps even after so many loses she could have atleast partially happy life. But first, she needed to deal with Daario.

Sansa was preparing to leave for King´s Landing. She planned to make sure Jon was not executed. He was her brother. He did what was neccesary. He killed that mad Targaryen queen. She had to admit, she never liked the idea of Targaryen aiding them against the White Walkers. But Arya raised a valid point. Her army was needed. Her dragons were needed. So she decided to give Daenerys chance at the very least. But then, that fool wanted to rush to Cersei withoout giving the troops and her wounded dragon proper rest. That was stupid. And when she raised the problem, she was ignored. This foolish decision´s result was death of Rhaegal. And kidnapping and execution of Missandei, who seemed to be very close with Daenerys.

And Missandei´s death managed to send Daenerys into the waiting arms of madness. Burning innocent was wrong. Claiming herself as the only one who matters in the world was wrong too. And she simply knew that since she told Tyrion about Jon/Aegon, Daenerys would have no mercy towards her. She would have used Drogon to burn whole Winterfell down. Fortunately, people around Jon managed to open his eyes. And he did the right thing.

"Sansa."

She turned around to see Bran looking at his wheelchair was Sam.

"Yes,Bran?"

"I´d like to travel to King´s Landing too. There are certain matters i must take care of." Bran said that in that emotional tone he was using since he returned home.

"Do you think it is wise?"

"It is important."

She sighed. One culd not simply argue with somebody, who knows all of the history of mankind.

"All right, Bran."

"Thank you, know, i wonder how some things will play out."

"What do you mean?"

"That is a surprise. Besides, it is not the right time to tell you."

Sam seemed to be surprised at Bran´s statement as Sansa.

"If it is important, don´t you think it is better to tell somebody?"

"The time is not the trial, i will tell you. I promise."

With that, he beckoned Sam to take him to Godswood, leaving Sansa wondering what he was talking about.

AN: Sorry for the long wait. I am afraid the updates will be irregular. I need to work on my thesis and this is sort of a way of relaxing for me. And to be honest, i already got idea for another story... technically for two stories. Thats why i love Game of Thrones/ Song of Ice and Fire so much. The world is so huge and up for playing with a bit :) Anyway.I know i placed this into GoT and not Song of ice and fire category, so i hope you won´t mind if i add here and there some elements from books? Like shade of the evening. I actually prefer the book version of Dany in house of Undying. And shade of the evening is drank only by creeps - Euron and Undying. So there. Sorry for the long ranting!

Edit: I forgot disclaimer. Not really sure if its that necessary, but... :)


End file.
